In the Lethe, or Trying to Forget
by Jocasta Silver
Summary: Because the only way Alisha can cope is to turn numb and forget. Spoilers for the AOS episode the Team.
Author's Note: So I've finally decided to write an AOS fic about Alisha, since no else has written about her.

Warning: Spoilers for the latest episode _the Team._

Disclaimer: I don't own _Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D._ This is owned by ABC, Disney and Marvel.

In the Lethe, or Trying to Forget

Alisha tried to forget when she was ten and her mother was dying of ovarian cancer, with tubes sticking out of her body, and her skin gray. It hurt that being Inhuman still didn't mean you couldn't be brought down by a deadly disease. She ran out of the room when the doctor gently told them the prognosis. And the words, _Mom's dying_ , _Mom's dying_ , screamed in her head.

When she refused to attend the funeral her father pleaded and pleaded before he screamed. "What's wrong with you?! Can't you feel anything?!"

He didn't even try to understand that she needed to grieve alone.

…

Nor did he understand when she came out to him when she was sixteen that being bisexual didn't mean that she was promiscuous or incapable of monogamy. She packed a bag quickly then, and left her home for the dark and cold streets. She was on the streets for a week before Gordon found her.

"You're a hard person to track down Alisha Kendall." It is disconcerting to see a man with no visible eyes, even with the stories her mother told her of Inhumans being physically changed when they transitioned.

"And why should I trust you?" she asked.

"Because you are one of us," he replied. "And we can show you the way."

It was easy to take his hand, and go to Afterlife. She took high school classes online, and Gordon tutored her in hand-to-hand combat, which she excelled in. It was good to have some happy memories, though it all changed when Gordon brought two badly hurt people in Afterlife. The boy, Lincoln, stayed. The girl left declaring that she wanted nothing to do with a bunch of 'freaks'. Even though Alisha knew intellectually that it was trauma talking, she hated the girl all the same, and wasn't sorry that she left and never came back.

…

She tried to forget the day Lincoln kissed her and she gently turned him down.

"But you're bisexual!"

She struggled to rein in her temper. "That doesn't mean that I'm attracted to everyone!" It seemed like she spent hours trying to explain to everyone that little fact to no avail. After that, she kept her distance from Lincoln and only spoke to him when it was necessary.

…

She tried to forget when she walked in on her girlfriend, Laura, kissing another girl with platinum blond hair.

"I figured since you can't be faithful to me, why shouldn't I have some fun?!"

This time she punched Laura in her face, crushing her nose. After that, she stopped going out with people. It just wasn't worth it, when no one tried to understand her sexuality.

…

She tried to forget that horrifying feeling of being covered in a cocoon, as she went through Terrigenesis. It was like being mummified; she couldn't imagine what it felt like for those went in without any preparation. It took several months before she was able to learn how to control her four clones effectively and to not accidently multiply when she got nervous.

However, it was amazing to have powers and to be special. She just hoped that her mother who decided not to go through Terrigenesis would understand, wherever it was people went after they died, neither of her parents had been particularly religious.

Her days fell into a pattern. In the morning she trained with Gordon. In the afternoon, he teleported her to her boring shift at the grocery store. Then depending on his availability, she either teleported back to Afterlife, or crashed at the dingy studio she rented. That all changed the day two strangers arrived.

…

Alisha tried to forget Raina's desperation as she hauled her away and locked her up. If Jiaying said that Raina was a traitor than she was a traitor. She also tried to forget the S.H.I.E.L.D. leader's screams as Jiaying murdered him.

Afterwards, Lincoln came to her and offered her to opportunity to make up for her mistakes. Knowing that everyone else on this ship hated her, she accepted.

…

She tried to forget the pain when Lash killed one of her clones, of having her heart ripped out of her chest. She also tried to forget that she failed in her duty to protect her fellow Inhumans. She just lay there in bed, numb to everything around her. Numb enough that she didn't complain when they suggested moving her.

…

She tried to forget that everyone at the ACTU hated her and either thought she was a monster, or worse had a disease that needed to be cured. She offered to clean up the storerooms, when she overheard one of the guards complaining about the mess. That garnered her some goodwill and trust from them. Enough that when the message came that she had to be put on lockdown and tested, the guy who told her sounded genuinely apologetic.

…

She tried to forget that she was the only one who could comfort Daisy when they finally purged Hive's disease from her mind.

"I want to forget!" she wailed. "I want to forget!"

Alisha simply held her while she cried as if she was a child. "I know," she replied simply. "I understand."

Maybe it was gratitude for being there in her darkest moments, but she received an offer to join Daisy's reformed team. She accepted.

…

She tried to forget the day that Steve Rodgers arrived at the base, desperately trying to protect his best friend, Bucky Barnes. After consulting with the director, Daisy made him part of their team.

"We need someone who isn't Inhuman," Daisy explained when asked.

She couldn't take her eyes off him, with his tight muscles, and sweet boyish face. To his credit, Bucky didn't seem bothered when she attempted to flirt a bit. On the contrary, he flirted right back, and told some very corny jokes to somehow still managed to elicit a chuckle from her.

When she told him she was bisexual, he replied with a "so am I" and they both smiled.

And the day when he finally leaned forward and kissed her passionately, because he knew that she was strong and didn't wanted to be treated like glass, was the day that Alisha decided to stop trying to forget everything anymore.


End file.
